MamaPeggy

I don’t know why, but for the last few weeks I have had Mama on my mind. I’ve been remembering so many things.  My mama was just fifteen when her mother died from complications from Asthma. Back then nothing much could be done for asthmatics. They didn’t have inhalers and steroids that one can just spray into their mouth and instantly feel better.

My mom was sent to stay with distant relatives in Kings Mountain, N.C.  She met my dad when they were both nineteen. They were both working in a cotton mill (where most everyone in the South worked). They were pretty smitten with each other. One girl had her eye on Daddy too!  From what I understand , Mama walked over to her one day and told her that Daddy belonged to her.  She apologized to Mama and told her she didn’t know that! We laughed about that for years.

They got married  in March, 1914 and my sister Lucille was born 9 months and three days later. In three years my sister Edith was born.  They would be blessed with nine more children, one every two years! After only having one of my own, I cannot, to this day, figure out how my mama did it.

We were poor , as most everyone was back in those days. My daddy was called into the Ministry when Sue, the seventh child was born. She had asthma and was having such a struggle. It was then Daddy told God that he would quit running from the ministry, if he would heal his little girl .  Well she is eighty years old now. Still singing in the choir at church and doesn’t miss church unless she is sick. I think that tells the story of God’s goodness and mercy.

Can you imagine what a hard life my mama had? All those children, all that work but with God’s help she made it. I can’t  remember, ever, hearing her complain, or say things like, “I’m sick” or “I have a headache and must lay down”. She did wear a white cloth tied around her forehead a lot. She also had heart problems, but she would never let us call the doctor. We would have to slip and call him. He would always say “Your mama would do better if she would let you children call me when she first starts having trouble with her heart.”

Once when she was in the hospital, the day she was to leave, most of the nurses who hadn’t met her, came down to her room to meet her!

I can remember her gathering all of us around her and we would sit for hours listening to her stories. She had so many children, she had to miss church quite a bit. We lived beside the church and some of the children would try to slip out of church so they could come to see Mama.   I can still remember some of the songs she sang to us when we were  little. She played a guitar,  or maybe strummed a guitar, would be a better word.

I think Victoria is the one who got me thinking about my own Mom. She was writing about her mom on her birthday. She was an extremely gifted lady. I started thinking of my Mama as a woman, not just my Mom. She had no family in Kings Mountain.  When she was sad, when she was lonely, when her heart was hurting and she needed someone to talk to, when she was happy… who did she have that she turned to? Was there anyone there to listen? I ‘m sure my daddy was there but sometimes when I need to talk, I just need another friend to listen to me  and let me cry when I need to. I’m sure God was there, always for her.

When Sue was born, from what one of the older children said,  Mama didn’t even have clothes to put on her. Mama was sitting there washing her feet getting ready for the birth of her baby girl, with tears streaming down her face. My heart aches when I think about that!

Thinking back on my life, and my siblings, we saw Mama as just mama. She was a strong, wonderful woman, wonderful cook, wonderful story teller. We adored her. But, I wish I had taken the time to find out more about her as a young girl, how she felt about her mom dying and her having to leave the only home she had ever known and go and live with practically strangers, How she felt when she saw my daddy for the first time.

When I get to Heaven, we are going to have a long, long talk and I will ask her to forgive me for so many things I didn’t do for her while she was living.

I remember her walking over to my daddy’s casket. Leaning over and so tenderly touching his face and running her fingers through his hair! Everyone could see the love on her face!

I have a feeling she will look at me and smile and say “My child, I wouldn’t have changed a thing!”

One of my best friends was called home to be with the Lord a few days ago.  She was one of our employees at Peggy’s Restaurant for years. A happy-go-lucky person who loved to laugh, cook , and sing!  She never met a stranger and was so much fun to work with and to just hang out with.

But she found out, on a routine trip to her doctor, that her kidneys were very bad and that she would need a kidney transplant.  We were all shocked, because if she knew something was wrong, she never showed it.  She had to go on dialysis and stayed on that treatment many years, but a kidney never came for her. The last time I saw her, Sherry and I ran into her  just outside the Dialysis Center and at  first I didn’t recognize her. Her cheeks were so puffy from her condition. She knew us though and jumped up and hugged and hugged us. I was so glad to see her!

Loretta and I ate so many meals at her house. She could make some of the best potato salad anyone could ever taste. Well, to be honest everything she cooked was delicious. But I remember the time she called and invited Loyd, Sherry, Loretta and myself  to dinner. Loyd and I were really going down on some turnip greens. They were out of this world good but I noticed that the meat Janis had seasoned them with had little crinkles in the skin. The next day at work I asked Janis what she seasoned her greens with and she said pigtails. I nearly fell over in the floor.  I told her I probably would never have touched them, if I had known that.  She was laughing so hard ! She said “You liked them, didn’t you?”  I said “Well, yeah!”  She said “WELL!”

One morning, Janis, Carmen Wilson and I were preparing to open the restaurant  at 4 A.M.  Carmen brought her CD player and some accomp. tapes. One was “I will always love you”, the Dolly Parton song that Whitney Housten made famous. Carmen was out front and Janis was back in the kitchen with me. They were singing to the top of their lungs to that tape, both of them trying to out-sing the other.  I thought I was going to die right there on the spot. My ears rang for two days. I never did like that song after that.

When we sold the restaurant, we lost touch with so many people we were close to. But Janis and her family always stayed in our hearts. We watched some of her children grow up, especially Iris, the baby girl. A lot of her children worked for us from time to time. We loved them all. We went a lot of places with Janis and it never mattered to us that she was black. She was such a pretty woman. People who knew her when she was growing up, said she was beautiful.

I will always hold her in my heart and I’ll just bet you that Loretta  and Sis came running to meet her,  and I believe they are dancing all over Heaven. One day I will be with them. Heaven is beginning to sound even more like HOME to me every day!

It’s been awhile since I have had the time to write again.  Seems my days are filled with  running from one apartment  to the other!  I was sleeping like a baby, early this morning, when the phone rang. It was Betty in Apt. 4.  She said “Peggy, I’m on the floor again. Can you help me?”  I called the paramedics. She started to get up from her lift chair and lost her balance. She has one artificial leg and sometimes turns the wrong way, and down she goes. So far she has landed on her rump, which is good. But she is a heavy woman and none of the residents (who are all seniors) can pick her up! She told them she didn’t know what she would do without Peggy! Bless her heart!

She has two sons and a daughter who  never come to see her or call to check on her. They had a little spat sometime along the way, so I guess this is the way they try to get even with her! How sad! She cries a lot but I try to talk to her about the FACT that she belongs to God and He never leaves us alone!

Sometimes I feel very vulnerable myself, especially around bedtime, when everything is so still and quiet! But all I have to do is pick up my Guideposts or Bible, that I keep on my bedside table, and as I read I feel peace and assurance that God is with me! He has brought me through some terrible times.

My friend Libby is dying from C.O.P.D. and just this weekend she had some “touch and go” moments. She hugged me, with tears running down her face, and said “Rudy is with me. He’s been with me all day long.” Rudy is her late husband who died three years ago. Her face was glowing! Just another proof that God never leaves you! The Bible tells us that He will send a comforter to be with us.

People try to find happiness and fulfillment in so many other things and shut God completely out of their lives but when they get as old as I am  and look back over their lives, as I do, they can see all the marvelous ways  He has guided them, walked with them, and made so many crooked paths straight for them. I remember that I prayed every morning, before I left for work at the restaurant, for God’s help in the food that I prepared and just to let me have a good day. As I look back on that, I know there would have been NO WAY I could have made it through each day without His help. Some times I just ponder on the amount of food I cooked each day, always had it prepared on time, not to mention the compliments we received on the taste of the food! I give God all the glory for our success at Peggy’s Restaurant.

My son Kevin used to kid me a lot and tell me that I would’nt have lost two husbands if I hadn’t stayed in the kitchen so much! Well, he put it a little bit different, but we won’t even go there!

Victoria is working split hours now, so I’m not getting to talk to her as much.  I miss talking to her! We have grown so close, that I just can’t hardly remember  when she wasn’t in our lives. She is everything I have ever wanted in a daughter (well, in law) I couldn’t love her more if she was my flesh and blood daughter!  I know I must get on their nerves, sometimes, because  I find myself calling them about anything that gives me an excuse to call them! I haven’t seen them in almost a year but God willing I will get to go down to Florida in about another month!

It’s time for me to begin my day! Maybe God will use me in some marvelous way to brighten the day of some of my co-horts in our senior complex!  Some only need a smile, or a pat on the back, or an “I Love you” but more importantly “GOD LOVES YOU!” It would mean so much if some of you would take the time to call your older family members or older friends, just to say “I LOVE YOU”.  You don’t realize how starved some of them are to hear those very words.  I am going to do that today!

It’s so amazing how God works in your life sometimes. Night before last I got this incredible  urge to got to Dollar Tree  (a store where nothing costs more than a dollar).  As I walked in, I noticed a man, probably in his fifties, just aimlessly walking, aisle to aisle, obviously deep in thought. I passed him and he said, “Hi!”  Then I passed him in the next aisle and he said, “Hello!” Finally, he looked at me and smiled. Then he asked “How are you tonight?” I said “Just fine ! How are you?”  He looked down and said “Well, I went to work a little while ago and they were locking the doors. They told us to go home, they were closing down the plant.” I said “Oh! My Goodness! I am so sorry.” That began a very long conversation between us. He said he and his wife had sold their home and moved from Alabama to N.C., that he was a truck driver for years but wanted to try something new. His wife worked in the Dialysis clinic. His daughter was making all A’s, was elected  to go  to Governer’s school. One  son was in the Marines and had been to Afghanistan twice. The other son was married and living in Alabama. His parents who were 80 and 84 years old and wanted them to come back home!

Then he switched subjects and started telling me about how much they trusted the Lord, went to church, paid their tithes; how God has been so good to them and that they knew He would take care of them. What it all boiled down to was simply this!  He just hated telling his wife that he was laid off!  He said he knew she would understand. But he just found it hard to tell her! I wished him well and went on my way. A little while later, I came up the aisle next to the one he was in and I heard him talking to someone on his cell phone. Most probably his wife. He said “I just met the nicest woman in here!”

You see, God knew his need and sent me to that store! After he talked it over with me, it made it easier for him to call his wife.

All over our country, the same conversations are taking place. People are losing their jobs, they don’t know which way to turn. One thing I know for sure!  God knows all things. He knows and He understands! The scriptures tell us “If we turn from our wicked ways and turn back to Him, He will forgive us and heal our land”. Then and only then we will see peace and prosperity again. My parents (my dad was a Baptist minister) would be shocked and so hurt, over all the things that are going on in our country and most every other country!

I am so extremely glad that I am still holding on to the hand of a God who holds the fate of ALL of us in  His Great big HANDS.  If  He lets us go, it will all be on our shoulders.

I am so glad He gave me a chance to reach out to one of His children.

What two wonderful days we have had this weekend.  Last weekend we were covered with a blanket of snow!  The snow was just absolutely beautiful, but cold on the bones of all the seniors here at our senior complex.  Nothing was stirring, not even a mouse!  We just could not stay away from the windows though. One lady said she turned out all her lights, curled up on the couch, and looked out the window as snow fell, lit up by the security lights.  What is that saying “Once a man, twice a child”?

The temperature reached nearly 80 degrees both yesterday and today. It sure lifted my spirits a lot. Libby and I rode to Tony’s, in  Gastonia, yesterday and got a Banana split each.  My, Oh My!  I needed that like I needed a hole in my head. If you haven’t been fortunate enough to have an ice cream place  like Tony’s  near where you live, you have missed something wonderful (but fattening). We won’t even go there !!!

Lately I have been thinking about how I drop in on Victoria and Kevin everyday (via phone calls).  They tell me they don’t mind but I’m sure they must.  I remember when I was married to Jim, that every time his folks would drop by to see us, just as soon as they would leave he would say, “Well, wonder what they were trying to find out this time”,  or something of that sort!

Bob’s mother put me through some hard times because she was so jealous of me, because he married me. But I have to say, I think she loved me like a daughter before she died. So did Jim’s mother. After our marriage broke up, every time she came into the restaurant to eat, when I walked over to speak to her, tears would roll down her cheeks.

I guess all of that sort of “marked me” as my mama used to say.  I am so afraid of stepping out of my place, that I am always questioning them about it! Kevin is my only child but he is  certainly NOT a mama’s boy, Thank God.  He loves me, as every child should love their mother, and he has always looked out for me. I have always prayed, from day one, that he would find a girl who would love him as much as he deserved to be loved, and that he would love her in the exact same way. Well , my Prayers were answered when God brought Victoria into his life again. They are like two peas in a pod and I have never seen him happier than he is right now. I just don’t want to ever do anything that would make her think that I was trying to hold on to him. I couldn’t be happier than I am now. Because Kevin has finally found his soul mate. I believe that with all my heart and I give God the credit for it all. The only thing! I wish He would have brought them together years earlier, so I could hear the pitter-patter of little feet running through my house.

Victoria has two beautiful grown daughters, though, that I will gladly accept as my granddaughters if they will but accept me. God knows what He is doing. He knew as old as I was, I would rather have two already grown grands (as my friends of COLOR calls their grandchildren).

It’s kind of a lonely life when you start going down the other side of the hill! My biggest fear is that I might be a bother to someone or that I might lose my independence. I have a little plaque that reads  ” Live , So that when you are gone, It will have mattered that you were here”.

That’s how I want my new family to think of me!

Ingredients:

• 6 Pork chops
• 1 can Cream of celery, or mushroom soup
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1/2 cup sour cream
• Salt and pepper
• 24 ounces O’Brien potatoes or hash browns
• 1 cup shredded Cheddar cheese
• 1 can Durkee onions

Directions:

Brown pork chops in a small amount of oil.  Sprinkle in salt and pepper. In a large bowl combine potatoes, soup, milk , sour cream, half the shredded cheese, and half of the  fried onions.

Spoon into 13/9 baking dish. Arrange pork chops on top and cover. Bake at 350°  for 40 minutes . Top with remaining cheese and onions and bake 5 minutes longer, uncovered.

The funniest thing happened to me this morning!  My friend Libby is an avid bird lover and has a bird feeder on her window. I was at her apartment this morning and a lot of different kinds of birds were flying around the feeder trying to fight to get their portion. All at once, Bump!, one bird flew into the window pane. We both jumped and I said “Oh! goodness. I’ll bet that little bird got hurt.  I looked toward the small tree nearby and saw a bird just shaking it’s head. It looked kinda odd to me because I had never seen a bird do that. I told Libby to look at that bird, it had to be the one that hit the window, because of the way it was shaking it’s little head. Libby looked and started laughing! Then she said “Peggy, that’s a woodpecker”.

That was the first woodpecker I had ever seen, in all my 76years (Will be in May!). I asked her “Can he really peck holes in that branch?” She said yes, still laughing at me.  Loretta loved birds as much as Libby does. She would go out into the backyard, after we came home from the cafe every afternoon and feed those birds. Sometimes when we got home, on the telephone lines across our property, birds would be sitting from one end to the other, waiting on her to feed them. We would get the biggest kick out of that!

I have learned all about birds from watching from Libby’s window. She tells me which each one is which. We saw about five big fat robins one day last week. You name it!  We’ve seen it.

Libby and I share something special. We laugh at one another’s silly jokes and also the crazy things older folks do. Today she called for me to come over and she had me an Easter coffee cup. It is beautiful and she has one just like it. She said “Now, we have one just alike!”  I told her everytime I looked at it , I would think of her!  She said “I will think of you too, when I look at mine.”

She is failing, now, from all that morphine she has to take, but she will never give up until she absolutely has to. She has taught me so much about hanging in when you have a terminal illness. She cries sometimes! She is human, just as we all are.  She shared with the Hospice Chaplain, Dave, yesterday that she wanted to go home to be with her Lord and Savior but also to see her Mom and the rest of her friends and family. She has really fought a battle but I think she is getting tired now!

She looked over at me, yesterday, and said “Peggy, I know it hurts you to hear me say this, but this is no way to have to live!”  I agree!   Yes, my asthma is under control, but I haven’t forgotten the dashes to the emergency room, when I would be fighting for my breath. It’s a horrible feeling! I’ve seen her when she had to fight and she’s still doing it. Not as often, with all the medicine and morphine she has to take.

My Prayer has been for awhile now, that God won’t  let her smother to death, that He would just reach down and pick her up in those strong loving arms of  His and take her home as she is sleeping.

When she wakes, the first face she will see is Jesus, Her Lord. Then she will see Rudy, Her husband. What a wonderful, glorious day, that will be.

Now’s the time of year again when the Florist’s shops are working overtime to take orders and send flowers to sweethearts , wives, and  you name it.

It makes your mind wander back to some other time, some other place. The one time I remember distinctly is the first Valentines day after Jim and I had been married for a little over two months. Guess what I got ! A box of Ayds candy. For those who don’t remember what that was, it was candy that was supposed to help you lose weight. I should have kicked him to the curb then because that should have given me an inkling of what my life with him was going to be like.

The sweetest gift, I have ever received is a little dog, with red ears, a red nose and a red ring around one eye. When you turn him on, the music to “Sugar pie, Honey bunch, You know that I love you, I can’t help myself, I love you and nobody else.” His ears start jumping up and down and he moves his little head in time to the music! I nearly had a fit ! I went to every apartment and showed and played it, for everyone of  the residents in our building. I have never seen such pleasure shown by all these old folks. Room no. 2 is a lady of 77 yrs. who has had one leg removed, is diabetic and also has a heart problem. She laughed until the tears came, and said that was the cutest thing she had ever seen.

The next apartment has a resident that keeps pretty much to herself. I’ve known her most of my life and she has always been a recluse, of sorts. But I have never seen such a smile when she saw that little dog and heard the music. She just took it in her arms and hugged it and told me she just loved it!

Then I stopped at my sister’s apartment. She hasn’t had much to smile about in the last year because of her illness and near death experience. But she was smiling when I left her, also! Everyone got such a kick out of my little Valentine present.

Then on to Libby’s apartment. She is my best friend, who is dying from C.O.P.D. She also, just doubled up with laughter.  Zeke, her dog made a dive for my doggie, because he loves stuffed animals. I had to grab it fast to keep him from getting it.

Older people get lonely!  I wish their children and friends would remember that.  Betty had a misunderstanding with her three children, so they very rarely come to see her. They don’t see the  falling tears that I see when I drop in on her. She sits by that window most of the time. Thankfully we have a beautiful Senior Center in Kings Mountain. We are so lucky that it is only a couple blocks from where our Senior Complex is. The  bus comes by here from there, to pick up anyone who wants to go, everyday!

My heart was full and running over when I returned to my apartment. Who would have thought a little stuffed dog that Victoria and Kevin sent to me on Valentines Day could have brought that much joy to so many?!

God uses people in all kinds of ways to bless His children. Betty’s children might not care about her, but God does! Who knows what kind of day each one of these people had or how lonely they had been! But God knew and He led my “munchkins”,  Kevin and Victoria, to that little dog. I got my special blessing by watching the faces of my neighbors as they watched a little stuffed dog do its ’stuff”.

Victoria and Kevin both have a store on EBay, where they sell shirts. Victoria also sent me two beautiful Tee shirts. I get to wear them and show them off to my friends. I’m looking forward to visiting them before to long, and helping them build some flower beds.

Thanks kids, for allowing God to use you to bless a bunch of “old ladies”.  WE Love you!

Ingredients:

• 1 (7 oz.) pkg. elbow macaroni
• 1 tbsp. butter
• 1/4 c. chopped onion
• 1 can of mushroom soup
• 1/2 cup milk
• 2 cups shredded cheese
• 1 (16 oz.) can tomatoes ,cut up

Directions:

Cook macaroni and drain. In medium saucepan, melt butter, add onion, cook until tender. Add soup and milk. Add cheese and tomatoes. Cook stirring constantly until cheese melts.  Combine macaroni with mixture. Pour into 1 1/2 quart casserole dish. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. Serves 4.

Ingredients:

• 1 Pkg (7-1/4 oz.)Kraft macaroni and cheese dinner
• 1/4 cup milk
• 1 can (14-1/2) diced tomatoes, drained
• 1/4 cup Kraft ZestyItalian Dressing
• 2 tbsp. butter, melted
• 1 cup crushed RITZ crackers(about 20 crackers)

Directions:

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.  Add macaroni to large saucepan of boiling water;  cook until tender, drain. Stir in milk and cheese sauce mix.

Pour into a greased 8- inch square baking dish. Mix tomatoes and dressing. Top macaroni mixture with tomato mixture. Drizzle butter over cracker crumbs; toss with fork. Sprinkle over tomatoes.

Bake 15 minutes or until heated through and crumbs are golden.